Signs

Signs (and the weird little moments you don’t forget)

I wasn’t really sure what I believed at the time… I just asked anyway

There was a point in my life where I felt like I was trying to figure things out but I didn’t really know what I was looking for.

Direction.
Clarity.
A bit of reassurance maybe.

Nothing dramatic, just that quiet feeling of “am I actually on the right track here?”

One night I remember sitting on my bed after putting the kids to sleep.

The house was quiet in that temporary, slightly too-quiet way it only ever is with small children.

I don’t even really know who I thought I was talking to.

The universe. Life. Something bigger than me. Who knows.

But I remember thinking — if I’m on the right track… just show me a sign.

And I kept it simple.

Earlier that day I’d seen butterflies — red and yellow ones — so I just went with that.

“Okay… if I’m on the right track show me a butterfly.”

Very official. Very unplanned. Slightly awkward if I’m honest.

Then straight away my brain kicked in:
Did I do that right?
Do I need to say it again?
Does that even count?

And right in the middle of that my youngest calls out from their room.

“Mummy!”

Of course they did.

So, I huff a bit because I thought they were asleep and I go down the hallway.

They’re sitting up in bed, wide awake and really happy to show me something — when they were very much meant to be asleep.

“I just had to show you what I drew.”

And they hand me a picture.

A red and yellow butterfly.

I’m not even exaggerating.

I just stood there for a second thinking… surely not.

And they said,
“It’s special mummy. Red and yellow. And just for you.”

I told them it was beautiful, tucked them back in and walked back down the hallway a bit stunned.

That one has never left me.

I don’t really over-explain it. I don’t think I need to.

It just sits in that category of moments that felt like something more than chance… or maybe exactly what it needed to be in that moment.

And over the years, I’ve had a few moments like that.

Not all of them clear. Not all of them obvious.

Some I noticed, some I probably missed completely and I’ve learnt over time that sometimes missing them might be part of it too.

A bit like… you don’t always catch it in real time, but it still lands later.

There was another time, a few years on when we were in a bit of a big transition.

We were looking at a cross-country move for our family. Fast. A lot going on. A lot of unknowns.

And I was in that familiar place of thinking — is this right? Are we doing the right thing? Will this actually work?

So, on the day we were meant to look at three houses I asked for a sign.

A frog.

It sounds random, but my grandma had always loved frogs. So I thought maybe… if she’s around in some way, she might help me out with this one.

We went to look at the first house. Nothing.

Second house. Nothing.

Third house. Still nothing.

No frogs. No moments. Just more questions in my head.

So I remember thinking, I’ll just have one more quick look online before we call it.

And up pops a house.

Listed just 40 minutes earlier.

Great location. Great description. Everything looked right.

We called the agent and somehow managed to organise a viewing for the next day.

When we walked through the house it already felt different.

Things were aligning in a way that’s hard to explain but easy to feel.

And then I walked into the final room.

And there, sitting in the room was a frog statue.

Exactly the same as the one my grandmother had in her home… which had later come to me after she passed.

I just stood there like… okay.

That was it.

No big speech. No questioning it.

We bought the house.

I don’t really know what people call moments like that. I just know I call them signs.

And they’ve stayed with me.

I think they matter less in how you explain them… and more in how they land with you when they happen.

Cass X